I did.
I stood beside his bed and promised things I had believed since I was a child.
My voice cracked on every vow.
“You look like a very sick penguin.”
The nurses in the doorway wiped their eyes on their sleeves.
When the chaplain pronounced us husband and wife, Ben pulled me down gently and pressed his forehead to mine.
“Best day of my life,” he whispered.
“Mine too.”
I didn’t know then that we both meant those words for very different reasons
“Best day of my life,”
Afterwards, people drifted out with quiet congratulations.
Someone brought a grocery store cake.
Ben dozed with my hand in his, and I sat watching the slow rise and fall of his chest.
I was memorizing him the way you memorize a song you’re about to lose.
